Life Time

My wife has left me for another woman. She’s Danish, dour, attractive. I should hate her but I feel a certain bond with her as a result of our shared ‘relaxed’ attitude to work attire. Her name is Sarah Lund and she is Jolene to my Dolly. I know I can’t compete.

We bought a box set of the series in which Detective Lund is the central character a few days ago. Forbrydelsen – The Killing as it’s known here – tells the story of a murder investigation, day by day, in 20 one hour long episodes. We both became hooked after the first episode and watched another two immediately. At which point I started to twitch. There’s so much to fit into each day.  My first craft fair is in less than a fortnight’s time. I have no website, no pricing plan and no transportation but plenty of unfinished furniture. I’m on the upholstery course this week which means a 3 hour daily commute and I’ve got loads to do for my new research job. I shouldn’t be wasting time like this.

I’m desperate to find out who killed Nanna Birk Larson but I really must crack on stripping a piano stool. (Yes, the victim is a 19 year old woman called Nanna – I worried I might find this distracting but 20 minutes into the first episode she could have been called Nipple and I wouldn’t have cracked a smile). I suggest we take a break and watch some more tomorrow.  Fliss agrees because she is kind, despite the mental infidelity. By 2pm the following day we’ve watched a further 3 episodes. With 6 down and 14 to go I decide it’s cruel for me to hold Fliss back to a pace that suits me. ‘Go on without me’, I insist, selflessly. ‘I’ll get on with the piano stool and you can give me a summary of everything I’ve missed so I can pick it up later’. She needs no persuading. When I return from my workshop (spare bedroom) 3 and a half hours later she’s watched a further 3 and a half episodes. It’s a really good show but isn’t this a bit excessive? Fliss points out, with a logical precision I’m sure Lund would approve of, that she is going to spend 20 hours of her life watching Forbrydelsen so it doesn’t matter whether she does it over 3 days or 3 weeks. I can’t argue with that. I decide that I’ll watch one episode with Fliss then do an hour’s work and come down for a quick report before watching the next episode and so on. Fliss’s forensic descriptions are brilliant – I feel like I’m actually watching the episode – but at 30 minutes a go, they are quite time consuming. Then I have to make a cup of tea to settle my nerves and come up with new (inevitably wrong) theories about the case. All in all I save about 10 minutes per episode with this flawed approach.

Part of my problem is an awareness that time is a finite and precious resource. This makes me anxious to get as much out of my own alloted quota as possible. I’ve wasted lots of the stuff in the past and I guess I’m a bit like a reformed substance misuser, desperately trying not to fall back into old habits. My tendency to over-analyse gets on my own nerves, never mind those around me, but it has helped me to formulate a few tips for making the most of time which others may or may not find handy. These are they:

• Do things that aren’t part of your normal routine. This might be a brand new experience or something familiar done in a different way or at a different time. I recently tried dancing at the front of a sweaty gig which I’d never done before and I’ve started making tea with loose leaves in a teapot occasionally. I find I’m more likely to remember non-routine experiences. And memories make units of time – days, months, years – seem fatter.

• Do things that feed a number of your senses at the same time. Upholstery does this for me as it makes interesting sounds and requires me to think, look and feel if I’m to make the right decisions. I also like the smell of the various substances I use to clean and polish wood in a magic marker in school sort of way. An hour spent in this way feels very full and makes the subsequent 15 minutes drinking tea whilst staring out the window at nothing in particular all the more enjoyable.

• Interact with other living beings. Spending time with friends and family is important but try to interact with people you don’t know, both in person and via books, music, films, podcasts and the likes. Animal and plant interaction also works a treat. The more living things you interact with the bigger your world becomes which, don’t ask me how, makes time expand a bit.

• Be mindful. Take the time to listen and look around you. I spend far to much time in my head, combing over the past, wondering about the future, neglecting the present. I find that stopping to notice the colour of front doors on my street or the nature of the hair dos in my local area brings me back to the present.

• Enjoy yourself.

Having said all that, I think better advice would be to ignore everything I’ve said and listen instead to my friend Claire who recently blogged about how a cancer diagnosis made her determined to make the most of each day:

At first this was a pressure which had the effect of stifling my creativity.  I was so desperate not to waste time that I cupped it in my hands like a trapped butterfly, afraid to let it go.  Once I became aware of what I was doing I slowly unfurled and now my spirit feels free again.

Wise woman.

We’ve watched virtually no telly since we found out who killed Nanna (you’ll have to spend 20 hours of your own life to find out). Although I suspect Fliss has spent at least that amount of time looking at various Forbrydelsen / The Killing based webpages. I’m getting her a Lund jumper for Christmas. That’ll teach her.